I’ll Have A Supersize Tuesday and A Side of Fries

This year, March 6th marks Super Tuesday. Though no helmets or padding will be provided, the GOP candidates will attempt to win the hearts of voters from Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Virginia, and Vermont. Nothing says “I don’t really care enough about these ten states, so why not just clump them all together?” quite like Super Tuesday.

Super Tuesday really is the candidates’ opportunity to prove to Americans their popularity across the nation. In fact, this is the true purpose for all presidential primaries and caucuses. They are simply beauty contests. Each candidate dons his best outfit in hopes that the shiny cufflinks he purchased will appeal to the upper class but will not offend the poor.

The primaries and caucuses are supposed to predict who will be the front-runner for the party. Unfortunately, this does not always serve to be true. In 2008, the prestigious Iowa caucus reported Mike Huckabee as the winner for the Republican Party with a staggering 40,841 votes. Romney came in second, with Fred Thompson (also known as “The Law and Order Actor”) taking third.

Huckabee? Seriously? The projected candidate for the Republican Party? The rodent-snacker? This guy?:

Though John McCain won most of the Republican delegates in the long run while Obama and Mrs. Clinton battled it out for a period of time, these types of predictions are not always accurate. One minute you are on top of the world (the free world, that is), and the next, you are doing this:

Here’s your political portion:

If Karab Amabo was a Super Tuesday contender, I’d totally vote for him.


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