The Final Frontier

For all those hoping for a lunar colony, you’d best be looking somewhere else for such an investment. Former Speaker of the House and most recent Energizer Bunny, Newt Gingrich, has finally realized he has no chance of becoming the Republican nominee.

After some deep contemplation and discussion with his 16th wife, Gingrich will be stepping down this Wednesday. Though Republicans believe that Gingrich will throw his support behind rival Mitt Romney, for all we know, Gingrich might make the race even more exciting by betting on Ron Paul to sweep the nation.

It’s a shame that Mr. Gingrich will be leaving the race with outsiders harboring mixed feelings toward Mr. Susan Boyle. Rather than proposing ideas that would benefit our country, Gingrich, instead, stayed in a race that was no longer meant for him.



As the race for the future Republican nominee starts to wind down, that between Romney and Obama has just begun. Both power players, the two figures will fight until one is named champion. It is unfortunate that it took Gingrich this long to realize that he never had a chance against the Barack-ster. A Keebler elf look-alike will always be defeated by someone who has an eerie resemblance to Curious George. It’s just the way it is.

Here is your political portion:

Look at him go!


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